There's no point in living if you can't feel the life

OK, so I was so hell bent on going straight to law school that I never even thought that it might be a better idea to work for a year and THEN go. Maybe that would give me the opportunity to explore my career opportunities before I jump headfirst into studying for three more long years. Maybe I can work at a law firm for a year or something to get a better understanding of the litigation process. That way, my letters of recommendation can come from a professor from college AND a lawyer who I've worked for. It's making a lot more sense, but I guess I'll have to wait until I get my LSAT scores before I make a decision.

The majority of my stress is coming from me wondering what I'm going to do after I graduate. After high school it's so easy, I KNEW I was going to college and that was that. Now there are so many options, and I'm not sure if I want to go straight from one school to another. Maybe a year off would be good for me. I can relax a bit, learn about myself, and finalize what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.

Both my parents have PhDs and they hold me to the highest of standards. I want to succeed. I honestly don't care about the money as long as I'm doing something I love. If I can afford to pay rent, eat, and transportation then I'm satisfied.

I am absolutely exhausted right now. So much has happened, and yet there's so much still to come that it's incredibly tiresome to think about.

Firstly, I am happy to announce that I was cast in my college's main stage production of The Tempest as Stephano, the drunken butler who washes ashore and dreams of ruling the island. I also have a few smaller background roles (as does mostly everyone else in the cast) which will be very physical and involve lots of singing, rhythm, and dancing. While I'm absolutely THRILLED to be in this production I'm also a bit apprehensive with how much time it will take up. Each rehearsal is 3-4 hours long and when I'm not there I'm either in class, in meetings, or studying. This doesn't leave me with too much idle time to spend sitting around or napping, which of course is concerning because I value my downtime very much. It's going to take a lot of time management, self-discipline, and determination to come out of this unscathed.

Secondly, I'm PRAYING that my economics independent study goes through. Originally I planned to look at the entertainment industry's impact on the US economy over the last decade, but I quickly realized that the scope of my study would be HUGE and maybe it would be a good idea to narrow it down. So, I discussed a few ideas with my lovely theater adviser Professor Hoffman and she suggested I look into the acting and writing unions to maybe do a study on their impact to the entertainment industry. I could look at how the unions work within the larger industry, and then compare it to other industries and how their unions differ. I could even refer to the Writer's Union strike of a year ago as an example of when unions and the industry butt heads. I think this will narrow down the scope of my study and help me focus on something specific.

Lastly, In between all the insanity of classes, theater, class council, student activities council, and a supposed social life, I also have to take the LSATs in December and apply to law schools. Remember when senior year in high school meant being the big man on campus, getting into college, and relaxing with friends? This is so different and it's waaaaaayyyy more frustrating and tiresome. I'm hoping that I graduate in one piece.

Life is about to get pretty spicy. As long as I don't get sleep deprived, I think I'll be OK.

I've often written about politics in this journal, but obviously like anything else my views tend to evolve with time. When I was a teenager I was very conservative -low taxes, no government intervention, strict punishments for petty crimes- but over the years (granted not many seeing as I'm 21, but a few) I've grown a little. However, while the idea of socialism seems so idealistic and peaceful, I don't see it materializing in reality.

Socialism, as "liberal progressives" describe it, is a system where everyone is taxed equally and treated equally. This is also based on the assumption that everyone is born equally. While I'd love to be unoffensive, I must admit that people are NOT born equally. For example, my identical twin cousins Emma and Kate (2 very intelligent and beautiful teenagers I must admit) are not EQUAL. Their strengths and weaknesses are different from each other and they lead two different lives (even though they're still more similar then they let on). Not everyone thinks analytically, not everyone is musically talented, and not everyone can take up a sport and master it in a matter of days, but there are people who CAN. We are not equal, so how can we expect to be treated equally?

Women pull the "be a MAN" card a lot, and while I sometimes think this is unfair, I have to consider the truth: there are things men are naturally better at then women (on average, like anything else there are ALWAYS statistical outliers). The male brain is bigger than the female equivalent, but the female brain has more gray matter evening out the difference in size. Women tend to be more compassionate and right-brain thinkers, whereas men tend to be more direct and analytical. Neither is better than the other in the sense of intelligence, but the strengths are in contrast to each others.

So back to my political thoughts, I believe in equal treatment of all people but also being able to be flexible with those who differ from the norm. Just because someone is different than me doesn't make me any better than them. Not everyone is born with the same intellectual capacity as others, and there are those that exceed in certain areas, so who are we to deny them special treatment to develop their talents to benefit humankind?

I think it's possible to fund programs that are well-managed without excessive amounts of money. Throwing money at a problem won't solve it. Reorganizing programs with good intentions but are mismanaged is the key to solving our financial crisis. Our problem is creating these gigantic, nationwide programs that aim to solve all our social problems but instead create a black hole for our hard-earned tax dollars. That's why I just can't get behind the idea of socialism, at least not right now. I think the intention is pure, but the execution is flawed.

Hopefully someday we can live in a world where everyone can receive quality, affordable health care from the day we're born until the day we die. Hopefully someday children can get a great education without paying obscene amounts of money. Hopefully we can feel safe walking down a city street at night and not worry about corrupt police officers taking bribes instead of protecting their citizens. I truly hope this is our future, but let's take these programs step-by-step without assuming more funding will increase their effectiveness.

I'm a libertarian to a point- I still believe that overtaxing American citizens is not the solution and that regulations on drugs, alcohol, and petty crimes are a bit out of control. But I also think that transparency in business and politics is crucial to ensure that people aren't cheating other out of liberty or money. People need to know what happens with their money, what their elected officials are doing, and everything in between. This starts with auditing the Fed, businesses being taxed as BUSINESSES and not citizens, and people taking responsibility for their actions.

With these thoughts, I'm off to bed. I love hearing the opinions of others (as long as it's given in a productive manner) even when they are the complete opposite of mine. I'd honestly hate a world where everyone agrees with me because we'd never get anything done.

Good night, sweet dreams, Seacrest Out.

It's that time of the year again, where signs in department stores claim jaw-dropping savings, kids buy new backpacks, and parents can't wait to get their kids out of the house and back into school after a tumultuous fun-filled summer.

It will be my senior year at Connecticut College, and after graduation I plan on attending law school, preferably at UCLA or NYU. I can't believe my years as a college student are winding down. I still remember my mom leaving on my first day of orientation and me thinking "now what" I feel like that's how I'm going to feel on my last day, too. After taking that last final exam and realizing that I am now in the 'real world.'

If I don't do the law school route that I currently want to, maybe I'll apply to the Peace Corps, or maybe Teach For America. Whatever I end up doing will make me happy, and if it doesn't I'll find something else that does.

This post isn't really a revelation or of much importance. It's moreso just an outlet for what's been going through my brain.

Until next time...

OK, I'll admit, I've let this journal go without regular updates for too long! After watching Julie and Julia I've gained some inspiration to keep this piece of work moving forward, even if it means talking about mundane, everyday occurrences. I figure that if I keep writing on a regular basis, my journal will naturally head in a direction that I can work with. Maybe my topic will turn to comedic happenings in college, maybe it will be things that piss me off, but writing helps me get through the day and this is the perfect medium for it, regardless of content!

To be perfectly honest, whether this journal gets readers or not is beyond my concern. I'm writing here for me, for my own creative energy to have an outlet. Also because I have too much spare time and instead of playing The Sims 2 endlessly I need to utilize it constructively.

So, this is it! I have embarked on another journey, to where I have no idea but the destination is of less importance than the path taken.

Bon Voyage!

Everyone has been talking about the impending BART strike all week long. I wondered if the numbers being thrown around were true. "They make an average of 90K with benefits," and other similar claims. The Contra Costa paper was nice enough to post a salary database, so I put a pie chart together with that data. Below is a breakdown of what percentage of BART employees are in each pay range. It surprised me and I thought I would share it with all of you. The chart represents the data for approximately 3,200 employees' salary information.



Did you know that janitors working for BART make, on average, $98K per year with full benefits? What does the average nurse make... maybe $40K if they've worked for a while? So a janitor should make over TWICE that of a medical professional because they have a union backing them up claiming to champion their "rights."

This strike is ridiculous. I guess everyone wants their "free lunch."

I'm the PR Committee Chair for the "Vagina Monologues" being performed at my school, and I finally finished the poster design.

What do you think?

( The picture is rather large... )

The BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. I've read 32, how bout you?

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'X' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Add a '-' to those you did not love at all.
5) Tally your total number of Xs at the bottom.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien X
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X+
6 The Bible X+
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller X+
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare X+
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X+
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X+
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger*
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy*
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X+
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky*
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame*
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy*
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens*
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X+
34 Emma - Jane Austen*
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X+
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini*
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden*
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X+
41 Animal Farm - George Orwel X+
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery X
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood *
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan*
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert X
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens*
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley X
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X+
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas*
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding X
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker*
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray*
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens X+
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker*
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert*
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Album
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle*
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X+
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas*
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X+
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo*

If you're tagged in this note, you should tag 25 of your closest friends to find out 25 new things about them you may have never known!

1. I drink tap water and think it's silly to buy bottled water when you have perfectly good water coming out of your faucet.
2. I rarely put lotion on my skin. Mostly out of laziness.
3. The organic movement makes me angry only because those who follow it consider themselves elite to those who don't. I'll eat whatever I damn please, be it riddled with pesticides or otherwise!
4. When I was 4 my parents had a dinner party and I pooped in my toy box. They discovered it a day later.
5. My favorite food is a tie between grilled cheese sandwiches and macaroni and cheese. This has remained unchanged ever since I can remember.
6. I think nerdy guys are sexy.
7. I still listen to 90s pop before going out on Saturday nights.
8. I can crack my wrists on command. It's pretty gross, and probably not the best for my joints.
9. Whenever I think about yelling "I hate you!" to my parents when I was really little and in a fight, I get extremely upset because it's so completely untrue. I love my parents more then I love myself.
10. I still pick my nose. Sometimes a tissue just doesn't give me the same satisfaction.
11. I got my period for the first time on a 8-hour car ride back from visiting my cousins in Irvine. I remember getting the worst cramps EVER and thinking I needed Pepto-Bismal because I thought it was a bad stomach ache.
12. My fondest memory is spending 2 weeks of the summer in North Carolina with my entire family as a child. The water was warm, the beach was peaceful, and the memories are timeless. I hope to return to Figure Eight Island someday with my children. I even lost my first tooth there! I was terrified the tooth fairy wouldn't find me since I was so far away from home. She found me =)
13. I don't like fish or any type of seafood. I attribute this to when I was in my mom's womb. She usually loves seafood, but when she was pregnant with me the thought of it made her queasy. I think this impacted my taste because I HATE it even after trying it time and time again.
14. I peed outside the economics lab during finals week last semester. I didn't want to go all the way to the bathroom in the nearest dorm and I REALLY had to go so I popped a squat right outside the door. Thank GOD no one saw.
15. I call my brother a lot, more than I call home.
16. I believe in psychics and mediums, but am unwilling to pay such a high price for a reading.
17. At summer camp one year I laughed so hard I peed myself and had to sneak away from campfire to change my pants. No one ever found out!
18. I can hold my bladder longer then anyone I've ever met. I must have a bladder of steel or something because the thing is SOLID.
19. I can only fall asleep on my side in the fetal position with a pillow between my knees.
20. I dream every single night and can usually remember them the next morning.
21. When I was in 3rd grade I had warts all over my hands and knees. I took this disgusting tasting medicine for 3 months and all of a sudden one day they all vanished.
22. I've always secretly wanted to shave my head and just wear a different wig each day. I will probably NEVER do this but the thought of it is intriguing.
23. My parents' nickname for me is "Mud Hen." Never really understood why, but I still think it's hilarious.
24. My feet are gross and I hate them.
25. The best part about growing up where I did was being able to go over to my neighbor's house everyday to play with Kirsten and Kelsey. They moved when I was 10 and it sucked. I'm still friends with Kirsten to this day!

Another year past. Thank FREAKING God.

Everyone keeps saying "This is the worst Christmas ever!" because of the recession and such, but I have to disagree. The worst Christmas has GOT to be during the Revolutionary War when Washington attacked the English Christmas morning. THAT had to suck balls.



So take it in context- at least you're not being surprise attacked by colonialists.

Merry Christmas!

Lots of names are being tossed around as President Elect Obama chooses who he wants in his cabinet and White House staff, but every single one is a Democrat. What happened to including both parties? What happened to a bipartisan cabinet and trying to cross party lines in order to find compromise? I can only hope we see this in the coming weeks, because an entirely left-wing cabinet doesn't leave much room for other opinions. We don't find solutions by adhering to the extremes- moderation is the key.

Come on, Obama, I believe in you. Please please PLEASE choose your advisors and cabinet members wisely and not based on your own personal Democratic opinions. Represent AMERICA! ALL OF IT! Not just the coasts....

Love it. Already have it pre-ordered (although it's easy to illegally download, so that'll do until the actual album comes out).

You should buy it. Best song on the album- "If You Seek Amy"


That is all. Nothing special, just saying ;)

I'm so glad SOMEONE has the courage to say what has to be said. People are blaming the "free market" for our current economic woes, when it was actually the government INVOLVEMENT with lending money via the Federal Reserve that buried the hatchet. Here is an email I received (as did many Ron Paul supporters) which is in response to the President's take on the crisis. I hope you take the time to read it, because he makes some very compelling arguments, most of which I personally agree with.

( FREEDOM and JUSTICE for all )

These are my new obsession

Former NASA astronaut and moon-walker Dr. Edgar Mitchell — a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission — claims aliens exist.

He says extraterrestrials have visited Earth on several occasions — but the alien contact has been repeatedly covered up by governments for six decades.

Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview in Birmingham, England, that sources at NASA who had had contact with aliens described the beings as "little people who look strange to us."

He said supposedly real-life ET's were similar to the traditional image of a "small gray" — short, slight frame, large eyes and large head.

Mitchell also claimed human technology is "not nearly as sophisticated" as the aliens' and "had they been hostile," he warned "we would be been gone by now."

source

Tommy Girl is going to flip a shit

Last night our neighbors down the street had their cars broken into. My brother also had his wallet stolen and the people around the block had THEIR cars broken into. I can't help but feel guilty for all of this because it was my party a few weeks ago that sparked all this criminal activity. The worst part about it is that I know the thieves at MY party were invited by someone who knows MY friends.

How fucking low can you go? You can't work hard enough to buy your own stuff so you have to go steal someone else's? Pathetic. Are you too stupid to get a good job and make your own money? Any retard on the street can steal a wallet. Enjoy a life of mediocrity, assholes.

Thanks to the recent happenings, the Los Altos police as well as the county sheriff will be running extra patrols in our neighborhood, probably for the rest of the year. They realize that we are specifically being targetted, and they look forward to catching the scum that are doing this to our neighborhood.

I understand if you have a problem with me, you steal from me. Fine, I can't say I agree with it but at least I'm the only one affected. But the people you stole from are a good family with young kids. They don't deserve this. Don't bring whatever beef you have with me or my brother out to an innocent family. That's disgusting.

All I can say is that you should steer clear of my neighborhood. Everyone is watching and I know of a few families who are now installing security cameras (including my own). You will be caught, but you better PRAY it's not by me.

.... I think I like McCain better. I'm ignoring the rhetoric and superficial image and basing this opinion on their policies. McCain is an advocate for an individual's rights and is pushing for a smaller, less intrusive overall government.

Plus, Obama's economic policies are extremely lacking. He wants to raise minimum wage, increase unemployment benefits, AND increase taxes. Major inflation and deficits, much? As an economics major, I think this policy would essentially be financial suicide. If minimum wage increases, fewer businesses would be willing to hire workers. Unemployment would rise due to the slower pace of new jobs so more people will register for unemployment. They THEN become financial burdens to the federal government and all those extra benefits will need to get funded from SOMEWHERE. Any guesses as to where he's planning on getting that money? That's right. YOU. He covers this up by claiming he's going to give tax rebates to middle class families, which is all fine and good until you realize that he's taking more of their money in federal income taxes anyways, so it's more of a cover than anything else. He also doesn't want senior citizens making less than $50,000 per year to pay ANY income tax. By doing so, he would need to make up for that loss of revenue somewhere else. Any guesses as to where that extra money is coming from? That's right, YOU!

So while his policies seem socially progressive and moral on the outside, once you dig beneath the surface you see how flawed they truly are. It begs one to ask: "Where's the beef?" Obama's utopian view of how America will be saddens me, not because I don't wish America could be like that, but because it won't be like that under his policies. Numbers don't lie, sweethearts.


Behind his inspirational speeches and message of hope, there's really not that much to back it up. As much as I like the guy, I'm just not sure I would feel comfortable voting for him.



And that's my political shbeal for today.

It's widely known that China has been in overhaul preparing for the Olympics next month, but we never seem to focus on the individual citizens doing their part to get ready for the festivities.

Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors. [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-3-08]

Now THERE'S a Patriot! No, honestly I had no idea he held the record. I didn't know there WAS a record. In fact I don't think he deserves the title of record holder at all. Dethrone him! Off with his head (needles and all)!

There's only one other person in the world who has had more needles stuck in them and that person is AMY WINEHOUSE. Someone should congradulate her. Just don't get too close.... you'll be high for a month.

HIGHER CO2 LEVELS MAY BE GOOD FOR PLANTS

The dangerous rise in greenhouse gases in the atmosphere may be troubling scientists and world leaders but it could prove to be a boon for plants, German researchers said Tuesday.

Increasing exposure to carbon dioxide appears to boost crop yields, Hans-Joachim Weigel of the Johann Heinrich von Thuenen Institute for rural areas, forestry and fisheries in the central city of Brunswick told AFP.

"Output increased by about 10 percent for barley, beets and wheat" when the plants were subjected to higher levels of carbon dioxide, Weigel said.

The Thuenen Institute, which has been monitoring the phenomenon in fields since 1999, trains CO2 jets on the plants so the gas reaches 550 parts per million in the air around them -- the level expected in the atmosphere by 2050.

Weigel said the studies have indicated that while greater CO2 exposure appears to spur growth, it can also undermine the quality of the produce.

He said the next step in the study would be to evaluate the effect of higher temperatures on plant growth -- which scientists cite as another consequence of higher CO2 emissions in the atmosphere.

Weigel said that while the institute's findings may prove surprising to some, they are not intended to undermine the drive to slash CO2 emissions.

"This research is not intended as an argument for doing nothing to curb the rise of CO2 levels," he said. "It is to find out what the effects would be."

Other studies have presented a more mixed picture about the impact of higher CO2 levels on plants, and there is uncertainty about its effects on soil fertility and which plants benefit most from more CO2.




Gotta love those German scientists